Moondwabi FAQ

Q:
Why do you openly call yourselves a “Cult”? Doesn't the word "Cult" signify something dangerous and bizarre?

A:
By “CULT”, we mean “A society of spiritually advanced beings communing together with love, respect and unity and living for a higher purpose". That is our definition of "cult". It is the wish of mainstream media, other religions and the government to belittle our group by calling it a cult. We are reclaiming the term.

Q:
Is the cult of Moondwabi a sex cult?

A:
By that, do you mean “Will I get laid?” Yes, all the time and with whoever you want. We don't force anyone to change their sexual orientation, but other than that all members are required to have sex with whoever asks. Discrimination based on physical appearance or outward personality is strictly forbidden. The mainstream society from which we come was lonely and repressive enough, we have no desire to continue it here. Sharing love freely and spreading it outward is a pillar of our beliefs.

Q:
Does Moondwabi keep all the best girls to himself?

A:
Holiness does have its privileges. While it is true that I am the first to sanctify each new female follower, she is then acceptable to all and equally shared by all. Male members are sanctified by my High Priest, Synodicus.

Q:
Is Moondwabi the true religion?

A:
I would be glad to hold a panel discussion with the founders of all major world religions: Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, Krishna, Buddha, but it appears they are dead. Being alive has its advantages. I am here and now. Get with the truth while it's young. See it in action. Or you can be a sheep and believe in fairytales that were written 7000 years ago by people who didn't even have electricity.

Q:
If God and the Prophet Marvin created the universe, then who created them?

A:
No one. They have always been. Before there was anything, there was God and the Prophet Marvin. There never was nothing, there was only them.

Q:
How many members are there in the Cult of Moondwabi?

A:
So far there are 15 of us, 16 including me. But as far as I am concerned we are one. Whether 15 or 15000 members, we will always be one united entity. We are not a missionary cult that prides itself in its numbers. A billion Muslims can’t get along, so what value has large numbers? We prefer to accept only those few with a true heart and real love for their fellow members.
I would like to add that many people believing in something doesn't make it true. Truth is not a numbers game. All the Christians in the world aren’t going to make me believe in Jesus. I have the truth right here in the book of Moondwabi and happily live by that truth every day with a few other chosen members.

Q:
You talk of unity now, but don’t you fear that in the next generation your group will split into factions?

A:
Many religions have split apart a mere generation after being founded. I can’t count how many sects there are of Christianity. The Cult of Moondwabi has an edge in that I am the final incarnation and this is the final generation. It ends with me. In a few years when I take my followers to the planet Zygone, our mission will be fulfilled.

Q:
How does the Cult of Moondwabi make the world a better place?

A:
We don’t. The world is for suckers and fools. We are outta here, as the saying goes. We’re going to the Planet Zygone.

Q:
How can I join Moondwabi?

A:
Keep your eye on this blog. My scriptures will be for sale within a year. There will be a coupon on the inside back cover. Send it in with the specified amount and we will then invite you to our Temple for a weekend retreat. Your loyalty to Moondwabi will be severely tested to determine if you are worthy of becoming a member. Should you fail, we offer workshops monthly until you reach the high spiritual level necessary.