No Afterlife for the Brain Damaged

Some say that part of us survives after death: our consciousness

Some say that our consciousness is a function of our physical brain, and when the brain dies, there is no more of us.

Sadly, it is clear that whatever the case, people with brain damage have clearly lost their consciousness (or part of it) and therefore have lost their afterlife.

If someone suffers from amnesia or dementia or altzeimers, what part of their consciousness will survive eternally? Will the spirit of a deceased brain-damaged person be eternally walking around heaven lost, not remembering any one's names, having psychotic episodes or whatever else their brain damage brings? Does a person who loses their memory in this life go into the next world with or without his lost memories?

What of someone who gets a head injury resulting in a major personality change, which is possible with front lobe damage? There was a famous case in the late 1800s of a railroad worker who had an accident while blasting rocks. A metal rod shot through his cheek and out his head. He lived, but with a different personality. His memory was intact, as was his functioning (he even returned to work!), but he was now a meaner, angrier person, quick to temper...a result of this change, he got fired from his railway j0b. Perhaps you too would be pretty angry if you lost part of your brain, had a permanent hole in your head, and had to join the circus for a living (that's what he did in fact, and he made a decent living rolling marbles through his head for the public!). But this injured railway worker wasn't merely in a bummed out mood after a head injury, he was described by his friends as a totally new (and less nice) person, 24/7. What this proves is that who we are is directly connected to the physical health of our brain.

So, if you're brain dead, then you are essentially soul-dead too.

If your memories and mental functioning don't survive intact in this life, then why should you expect it to survive after you die? This is a question that is quite relevant to anyone suffering from amnesia, retardation, dementia, and various psychotic illnesses due to a chemical imbalance in the physical brain.

While all of my theorizing doesn't rule out the possibility that SOME of us survive past our physical form, it does question the idea of an eternal consciousness which exists independently and separately from us.

***Rebuttal: Who we are is not simply our personality or our consciousness, but an essence much deeper. After all, in reincarnation there are no memories of past lives, yet something of the original soul is inside the new incarnation. In other words, there is a spark, a divine essence which underlies our very being and that originates in the cosmic consciousness and returns there when we die.

***Rebuttal to the rebuttal: That's a lot of abstract thought which cannot be proven, even if it did make sense.

Rest assured, I do not doubt that some of us have eternal souls and that some of us have a higher being watching over us (a concept known as God being in our lives). However, this involves only SOME of us. I, for one, personally know my previous incarnations. And I know from a series of amazing incidents in my life and from the impact I have made in this world that my existence is governed by an unseen hand. But not everyone has a right to claim this specialness.

This however is a topic covered at length in other blog entries of mine and it will be covered again many more times in the future.

SHOCKING INSIDE STORY OF A SEX CULT

Investigative reporter “X” (not his real name) infiltrated the newest and most bizarre brainwashing cult to appear in western world since the 1960s – the cult of Moondwabi. Posing as an eager member for 4 months, he witnessed first hand how weak and lost souls give themselves over the charismatic leader, Moondwabi. No matter how absurd the beliefs espoused, no matter how abusive, the followers of Moondwabi obey his every whim. Their possessions, their bodies, their minds – all property of a former alcoholic club musician and welfare recipient.

Some of you who read this article may be eagerly asking, “How can I form a cult of my own? How can I convince attractive young females to treat me as a god? How can I convince men to give me their belongings and become willing slaves?”

The following article reveals how an obvious lie turned into a fanatical religion. But this is not a “How To” manual for aspiring cult leaders. Even with every secret exposed, there is no guarantee that anyone could imitate Moondwabi and get the same results. There is no accounting for charisma and a certain hypnotic charm that all self-proclaimed divine beings seem to exert on those around them.

Gershon Meltzer becomes Moondwabi

Gershon Meltzer, the charismatic cult leader known as Moondwabi, was once a second-rate club musician and alcoholic. He was notorious for running expensive bar tabs while playing live - often drinking more than the club was paying him, which lead to many salary disputes with management. "You didn't argue with Gershon at the end of an evening - not if he was still holding his guitar", says Tyler, owner of Tylers Pub. "He'd threaten to smash your head with it, but usually he just smashed it against the wall until he passed out."

One freezing winter night Gershon was stumbling home (or wherever it was he went) when he found himself stopping to urinate in Queen’s Park. To protect himself from the freezing winds, or so he claims, he chose to relieve himself in the now famous "Urine Cave", a small cave where local kids shoot up, toss litter and urinate (thus earning it the nickname).

Depending on who you ask, Gershon was found unconscious the next morning, lying face down in a puddle of his own urine, almost dead from alcohol poisoning - or, as Gershon relates, he was found in a state of deep ecstasy as his soul was returning to his body after its trip to the Planet Zygone.

After regaining consciousness at the hospital, where nurses treated him for minor frostbite, he started ranting and raving about what he saw during his night in the cave. A prophet named Marvin had appeared to him in "the steam that was created when the warm urine of life mixed with the frozen snow of foreverness". The prophet informed Gershon that he was no mere club musician, but rather the reincarnation of the an eternal spirit who guides all of human destiny and is the wellspring of all human souls.

While Gershon's story cannot be disproven (after all, no one was present during the revelation except him) there are two controversial issues that stand as a sore point in any discussion about Moondwabian theology today.

First, Gershon (now calling himself Moondwabi) claims to have spent not one night, but 40 days and nights meditating in the urine cave, conversing with the prophet Marvin, as well as meeting incarnations of his past lives. In stark contradiction to his words, hospital records at this time show that he was under round-the-clock surveillance in the detox ward of "Mount Sinai" and that he suffered from sever convulsions and hallucinations. The Moondwabi response is foolproof: His body was hospitalized but his soul remained in the cave.

Second, the Cult of Moondwabi has been engaged in a long bureaucratic battle with city hall over possession of the urine cave. Moondwabi claims that this cave is the very site where the Prophet Marvin appeared to the first Moondwabi incarnation over 7000 years ago. It is the intention of the Cult to eventually build their temple over this spot. City hall shoots back that the cave was carved out by a landscaping committee 45 years ago when the park was being laid out.

Faced with glaring evidence against his cult's history, Moondwabi says that the claims made by city hall are "unlikely" and barring any further debate said he "would not discuss these matters with the ignorant."

Government and skeptics aren't the only groups Moondwabi has to contend with. There's the now legendary turf war that broke out between the Cult of Moondwabi, the Hare Krishnas and the Raelians over a much coveted corner for missionizing in the heart of the York University campus. The Cult of Moondwabi is one of the most aggressive missionary cults in the Toronto area. To quote Moondwabi, "There are still billions of non-believers in the world and new ones are being born at a rate faster than we can convert them. We'll never catch up."

The controversy surrounding Moondwabi grows more intense by the day, especially since the formation of M.A.M. (Mother's Against Moondwabi) - an organization created in response to the recruitment of their college age children into this "hideous brainwashing cult" as they call it. They can be seen picketing outside the Moondwabi headquarters daily, often throwing curses and the odd rotten egg. When Moondwabi was asked if he has any message for M.A.M. he responded, "It's always sad to see mothers go astray".

With two popular CDs and a Holy Book in the works, it looks like M.A.M. and city hall both have an uphill battle. Torontonians are forced to contend with this new intrusion. Many scoff, but none can ignore it.

NEXT: HOW MOONDWABI SPREADS HIS MESSAGE AND RECRUITS MEMBERS – “THE MOONDWABI METHOD”.

BOOKS OF THE ANCIENTS volume VIII

DILDO OF THE GODS
Written by the Greek Hedonist philosopher Siphilus (an incarnation of Moondwabi circa. 340 BCE and official baton twirler at Alexander the Great's victory marches)

Note from Moondwabi circa. 2007 CE: This story, lost for over two millennium, was revealed to me in a vision in the steam of my urine, a highly reliable source. Siphilus, being a previous incarnation of myself, was restoring information to me that was lost to my soul's memory during its many reincarnations. Reincarnation is a traumatic ordeal that results in almost total amnesia for the next incarnation - this is why we are rarely born with conscious memories of our past lives. It is the duty of every Moondwabian (leaders and followers alike) to complete the puzzle of who they are, one incarnation at a time, by reclaiming all the wisdom and experiences of our 998 previous incarnations. This is the key to self-healing, to becoming a whole being and to reaching our true potential.

The ancient parable "Dildo of the Gods" has been fully restored to my conscious mind. I am pleased to share this piece of divine wisdom (and a piece of myself) with all of you, my dear readers.

DILDO OF THE GODS

In ancient times Zeus wanted to keep his wife Aphrodite satisfied while he was away waging war against rival gods.

Zeus went to Mt. Olympus to forge in fire a mighty dildo, cast from a mold of his own penis.

This dildo kept Aphrodite satisfied while he was away at war but one day when he returned from a great victory he found that she had grown accustomed to the artificial phallus and even preferred it over that of Zeus.

In jealous rage Zeus grabbed the dildo right out of her vagina and hurled it against the moon where it smashed into millions of pieces.

One piece fell to Earth where it was found by the Oracles of the Great Temple at Hersones.

The Oracles were all female virgins, sanctified for temple service and sworn to never know a man. This did not, however, forbid them from pleasuring themselves by artificial means.

Tragically, the Oracles did not fully understand the incredible power they were about to unleash upon themselves with the Dildo of the Gods. Oh, holy naive virgin girls that they were!

They inserted the mighty marble into their soft wet Oracle pussies.

A pleasure resonated through their entire beings, which went beyond the realm of their human senses. What they felt on that day was something never before felt by mortals (alas, this pleasure was never intended for mortals).

At orgasm their souls flew from their bodies and touched the tip of heaven. The Oracles experienced sexual pleasure in its absolute and purest form, as it exists only in the heavens, in the realm of the gods.

Their mortal flesh melted. Their finite minds unraveled. The tragedy is recorded by the Poet Androginus, as a warning to future generations:
"Such was the fate of holy virgins
Who spread their legs wide
For a piece of the divine
That could never fit inside
And died."
*(Note from Moondwabi: Androginus the Poet is also known as Androginus the Ascetic, who reappears later in this story)

When Aphrodite saw the destruction a mere splinter from her dildo had wrought upon her Earthly servants, she mourned for 7 days and 7 nights (not in a row).

Aphrodite then appointed the mountain demon Zilritheor to destroy the final remains of this ill fated gift from her husband. This winged demon flew down from his rocky dwelling to ensure that humanity never again taste pleasures beyond their mortal realm.

The demon Zilritheor stomped on the Temple grounds until the pillars crumbled, the walls split in two, and an abyss opened beneath him which swallowed the entire structure. The forbidden Dildo of the Gods tumbled into the bottomless abyss along with everything else. When Zilritheor was satisfied that no sign of the Temple, the Oracles or the Dildo remained, he kicked sand over the abyss and filled it up.

And thus was the Dildo of the Gods lost deep below the Earth, in that forgotten spot, to remain there for all eternity.

Indeed, the Dildo of the Gods would have been lost forever, were it not for a certain adventurer-king who rose a few centuries later to conquer all mankind and challenge the gods themselves. This adventurer-king traveled across continents determined to uncover all the secret treasures of our world and his name was Alexander the Great.

Not satisfied with conquering the surface of the Earth, Alexander the Great determined to conquer Hades as well. This would make him ruler of both the land of the living and the land of the dead.

The gate to Hades was known to be located inside a cave in the Strait of Gibraltar. The key to a successful attack, advised Alexander's army commander, was a rear assault - to take the devils of the underworld by surprise. The soldiers needed to dig a backdoor into Hades. But in what spot to dig? What place could provide a short and direct route to the netherworld?

They found a suitable spot when they arrived at Hersones. There was a patch of ground where nothing grew. The ground was covered with the three-clawed footprints of a demon. The footprints were deeply embedded as if this hellish monster had stomped fiercely and violently on this spot to obliterate something forever. Surely this spot provided another entrance to Hades. Alexander ordered his men to dig.

As the hole got deeper and wider, the ruins and treasures of an ancient temple were uncovered. Among the finds was the Dildo of the Gods which Alexander the Great took back to his private chambers.

Alexander the Great inserted the Dildo of the Gods up his asshole and writhed in pleasure for 7 days and 7 nights (with 5 breaks for meals).

The court physician noticed that Alexander the Great was no longer aware of those around him or his kingly duties. The physician tenderly removed the divine phallus from the royal anus of the king, both to save Alexander to Great from death and to save the Empire.

Alas, it was too late. Alexander the Great would rule no more, but he did not die as most history books claim.

This great and mighty king descended into a great melancholy and expressed a desire to die. Behold, here was a man with the world at his feet, untold wealth, harems, servants and all the pleasures of Earthly life - yet he begged to die. After experiencing the highest pleasures of the divine, he could no longer find any pleasure in Earthly existence.

It was on the 7th night of Alexander's agony that he cried with all his might to the gods of old. Aphrodite heard his cries. She was furious and summoned the demon Zilritheor from his mountain peak. "Did I not tell you to rid the world of that thing? You have failed!", she boomed and turned him into stone. She placed his statue atop the Temple of Erotica, a humiliating punishment for such a mighty demon, as he was now among carvings of naked baby angels. Zilritheor's frightening figure would serve as a warning to passerby, a warning not to screw up. (Moondwabi notes: The modern gargoyle continues this tradition and can be seen on buildings all over the world) Zilritheor remained trapped in stone for centuries, until finally, when the Temple of Erotica was destroyed by war, the statue of Zilritheor broke into pieces and his soul was freed.

The punishment inflicted by Aphrodite upon Zilritheor did nothing to help Alexander, but she sure felt a lot better after doing it.

Without a leader, the army of Alexander the Great halted its advance in India and set to turn back. Meanwhile, a royal proclamation was sent throughout the Empire, from Macedonia to the borders of India, asking for a wise man to come forth with a solution.

Androginus The Ascetic came forth. Alexander asked him: "Dear wise one, Androginus answered Alexander the Great harshly and impudently, for he was an ascetic and feared no mortal king. "Fool! You missed the whole point of life! Who ever said it was about pleasure?"

Androginus explained, "The purpose of life is to suffer the physical world - pain or pleasure, they are one and the same - only by doing good deeds will you attain spiritual pleasure."

Alexander the Great shed his royal garb and tossed his crown to the floor. He donned sack cloth (a discarded potatoe sack from this royal kitchen) and became a disciple of the ascetic Androginus.

A fear descended upon all of Alexander's advisors, generals, governors and anyone else of any stature in the heiarchy of the Empire. Lest the people choose to follow Alexander the Ascetic and turn the Empire into nothing, a cover up was made and Alexander was declared dead.
*(Moondwabi notes: History books record that Alexander the Great died at a young age. Thanks to my previous incarnation, Siphilus, humanity now knows the truth!)

It is said that Alexander the Ascetic went on to experience spiritual pleasures greater than any orgasm, for the ability to grow spiritually is something infinite. Indeed, the opportunity for spiritual growth is something even the gods don't have.

As for the fate of the Dildo of the Gods, various conflicting accounts cast a fog over the truth. Some say that Alexander took it with him as his walking staff. Others insist that a Hebrew pilgrim donated it to the Temple at Jerusalem, where the high priest put it in the Holy of Holies next to the Ark of the Covenant and the five books of Moses. There are even some heretics who say the Dildo of the Gods never existed at all. And thus is remains lost till this very day, the stuff of legends.

COMMENTARY BY MOONDWABI:

When I first heard this story, it seemed almost contrary to Moondwabian philosophy. After writing it down, I almost relegated it to my apocryphal texts. Then I reread it and discovered the deeper meaning.

On the surface, the story says that Earthly pleasure is limited. When the Oracles taste even a small amount of heavenly pleasure, then all the pleasures of Earth become as nothing. The Oracles can't possibly return to the world of the living. There's nothing to come back to except pain - the painful longing to remain in heaven forever.

When Alexander the Great stumbles upon the dildo, he is not quite at the same spiritual level of the holy Oracles who used it before him. Nonetheless, even he gets enough of a taste of divine pleasure to make all his Earthly conquests seem meaningless and empty. This is where the story takes a turn toward an ascetic philosophy, quite in opposition to the Moondwabi way of life.

Alexander learns from Androginus that there is a pleasure greater than all the pleasures of Earth and heaven combined - an infinite pleasure. This is the pleasure of doing good deeds. The story doesn't quite define what "good deeds" are but I assume that they require the selfless sacrifice from the individual for the good of others. After all, Alexander's guide is Androginus the Ascetic who gave up all physical attachments to this world before setting out on his own mission.

So, am I to believe that the followers of Moondwabi should relinquish all physical pleasure in pursuit of purely spiritual pleasure?

Let us not forget that Alexander went to heaven too early, while still alive! This is like eating dessert before the meal. Imagine if all the Moondwabians were to go to Planet Zygone today - and in a week they're told that they must return to Earth.

The true message of this story is that Earth offers two kinds of pleasures, physical and spiritual. Neither one demands the exclusion of the other. You can spend your time doing good deeds (which is what we do all day in the Moondwabi cult) and you can have sex whenever you want (which is another thing we do all day, and it falls partly under the category of "good deeds")

Because Alexander the Great experienced physical pleasure in the spiritual realm of the gods, he corrupted that physical part of himself and in doing so destroyed any chance of ever enjoying purely physical pursuits on Earth (sex, luxury, etc). Let us not make the same mistake!

Taking the good without the bad

It has been pointed out that the Cult of Moondwabi "borrows" many of its beliefs and practices from other religions.

A case in point is the Jewish Sabbath which we observe from Friday evening until Saturday at dawn (the Jews keep it going until Saturday night).

We are not borrowing. Nor is it coincidence that we celebrate almost identical holidays. That's just the way it is.

God finished the creation of Earth on a Friday evening - and God revealed this much to the Jewish nation at Mount Sinai (via messengers from another planet). Unfortunately, like much else that was revealed to the Jewish nation, Moses and successive generations of religious leaders embellished, twisted, added to and complicated the Sabbath holiday. A day of rest, leisure and spiritual elevation became something stifling and even life-threatening should you dare violate it.

Allow me to explain what the Sabbath really is: At the moment that God stopped creating our world, She abandoned it. Yet, the world did not cease to exist. Who or what maintained it? Man with his technology? Not quite, considering that our ancestors were a bunch of primitive fig-leaf wearing, grunting cavemen who couldn't figure out how to light a fire. What maintained our world, what kept it running smoothly was NOTHING AT ALL. The world maintains itself, such is the wonder of God's creation. Not only the Earth, but our entire universe is a self-powered mechanism with a never ending energy source, running its natural course.

We too can "play God" and abandon our daily interactions with our world, lie back, relax and let things run their course undisturbed. We could technically observe the Sabbath 24/7. Why don't we? Well, for starters, we would starve to death. Friday night will have to suffice!

We observe our Sabbath by having all our mundane needs taken care of before the sun sets. Thus when evening is upon us, all our food is ready. All appliances which use a power source are either left running or turned off. Wherever we need to be for the next 12 hours, we are already there, no need to travel. Any work or business or shopping - in short, any mundane pursuit that we immerse ourselves in for the other 6.5 days of the week will have to wait till Saturday morning at sunrise.

This free time away from mundane reality (as much as is humanly possible) opens our minds and souls to contemplate higher things. We concentrate on the immediate present. Thoughts become clearer. We emphasize spiritual pursuits such as music, lovemaking, studying the Book of Moondwabi. Our physical natures are utilized only insofar as is needed to realize some of these spiritual ideas (for example: the expression of love requires the physical act of lovemaking).

What humans often mistake for "spirituality" is nothing more than being tapped into the nature of things as they really are. The spiritual realm is located within everything - we need only to discover it. As soon as God allowed Earth to run its course without any input from herself, She created a reality. The reality and implications of that moment remain forever imprinted on the fabric of our existence and it occurs on Friday evening.

A religious Jew may indeed find many similarities between our Sabbath and theirs. The difference is that we do it right. We take the good (the pleasure and enjoyment) without taking the bad (rules, regulations, punishment and guilt).

Most people associate the Jewish Sabbath with lots of boring prayers, lots of needless restrictions and incredible fury directed at anyone caught violating any of the rules. The Bible itself is full of threats and commandments regarding the observance of the holiday, not the least of which is the death sentence to anyone caught violating this day in public.

If someone in the Cult of Moondwabi chooses to "break the Sabbath" that is their prerogative and is no concern for alarm. In fact, the freedom to break the Sabbath is part of the pleasure and enjoyment of it! How else can we call this a day of rest and relaxation if we are being forced to relax? The only rule on our Sabbath is to have a good time. That's a rule most people don't want to break!

THE ETERNAL SABBATH AWAITS US: On the Planet Zygone we will be raised to a new awareness and all our needs taken care of - it will be the Sabbath 7 days a week! This is why it is written in the Book of Moondwabi:
"Earthly Sabbath is but a mere taste of Zygonian Sabbath."
Book of Holidays
Chapter 2, verses 1 through 20 (this verse is repeated 20 times in a row because it is so important)

A day in the life of a Moondwabian

"My Day" - By Orion Solaris (formerly Ryan Smith)
Edited by Moondwabi

I wake up in the morning. Or maybe it's the afternoon. It's dark outside, must be evening. Never mind. Here in the Temple of Moondwabi, we are living outside the rules of conventional time. We have no other appointments, nowhere else we need to be. What use is a calendar or a watch to us? If something needs to be done, the High Priest Synodicus rings the chimes and we all assemble in the main sanctuary for the lecture, public revelation, meditation, love therapy, whatever it may be that Moondwabi wants to give us - it's all a gift.

Today is the girl's day on "shower duty". All the male cult members line up nude in the "Hall of Hygiene", me among them. The girls (also nude) walk circles around us. Each girl scrubs me as she passes by in the procession (and she passes again and again until no spot is unwashed). It's wonderful having so many young female hands lathering me with soap and scrubbing my hair and then rubbing me dry with a towel. I don't worry if I get an erection or ejaculate during Hygiene hour. No need to be embarassed. We are all friends here.

I receive my breakfast pills. I don't know what vitamins they contain, but every color of the rainbow is here, so I'm probably okay. I down the pills with a cup of orange juice (not the fruit, the color). The girls come to breakfast a little late. They were busy waking and washing Moondwabi until now. I notice I forgot to take one pill - it helps slow down my metabolism so that I gain weight. Moondwabi wouldn't want us to look underfed. I swallow it down and go back to my bed to relax. It's been quite a day already!
*Note from Moondwabi: Cult members are allowed to eat real food. Ryan is a relatively new member and is still going through the detoxification process.

I lie back in bed reading the Book of Moondwabi for what must be the hundredth time. It's amazing how the book just keeps getting better with every read. Moondwabi in his infinite wisdom regularly updates and adds chapters to the book, so I never seem to truly ever finish it. Last week Moondwabi even added some illustrations to the book, actual paintings that he made while on the Planet Zygone. It's amazing how much this place on Planet Zygone looks like a place I know in Northern Ontario. This just confirms that I will never be homesick on Zygone.

I doze off with the book in my hand, still open at page 1. Wow, this is an intense book. I'll need all my energy to keep up with it. The chimes are ringing. That is the sound that woke me. Delicate chimes gently ring through the overhead speaker system of the entire Temple complex. The High Priest Synodicus is calling all of us faithful to assemble in the main sanctuary for some sort of wonderous event guaranteed to lift our souls higher and higher.

Today Moondwabi will be revealing to us the secrets of his previous incarnations. The hot coals are being prepared on the altar by the High Priest Synodicus. Moondwabi faces the altar and drinks from a flask that contains what looks like water. No one other than Moondwabi knows what liquid it is. He warns us not to dare drink or even touch it. He says it is a concoction from the Planet Zygone and it will burn a hole right through us like acid until we evaporate into a thin mist. Moondwabi of course can handle anything.
*Okay, so back to the ceremony. All of us focus our eyes on the red glow of the coals until we slip into a sort of trance. We rock back and forth in a state of ecstasy, rocking to the rythym of the silent cosmic chord. This is the note that permeates all existence and creates harmony, music and spirituality for the entire universe. Tapping into this note is like tapping into the source from which all Earhtly music draws its inspiration. You have got to hear it to konw what I mean.
*Moondwabi opens the front of his robe and lets the urine flow. His holy urine splashes all over the coals. Some of us lucky followers in the front row get to feel a few drops hitting our cheeks. The yellowish steam rises up with a hiss. Suddenly Synodicus starts speaking tongues. He sees a vision in the steam of the urine. The essences of all 998 previous incarnations float around within the steam (the soul of all 998 incarnations is currently inside our Moondwabi - these 998 previous incarnations that the Priest sees are really their memory, their trace, their imprints that they left on the fabric of the universe). No one else in the room can see anything special in the steam of the urine except Synodicus. I guess that's why he's High Priest and I'm just a regular shmoe.
*Synodicus starts to speak fluent Cantonese. He is channeling a message from Confucious' college roommate. Confucious, for those who don't know, is China's most famous ancient sage. Chow-Yun Phat was his dorm mate when they studied their profound wisdom which we can still see perserved in fortune cookies till this very day. Synodicus (now possessed by Chow-Yun Phat) holds a conversation with Moondwabi in fluent Cantonese, for what seems like hours, right in front of us. Amazing. Finally Moondwabi turns to tell us what we need to know from this conversation.
*Chow-Yun Phat was telling Moondwabi how important it is for us to worship him (Moondwabi) with all our might and to serve him without question. To tell the truth, I've heard that message quite a few times before and from quite a few different sources, including the incarnation of Moses' hair stylist just a week ago. But it's always nice to have the message restated in a new and novel fashion. Chow-Yun Phat did put things in a way that sounded fresh and even somewhat humorous. In the end he bestowed some very precious advice to us, something I once read in a fortune cookie when I was very young: "Never test the depth of the water with both feet".

For lunch I eat a balanced meal of celery sticks, tofu squares and jello powder. A healthy body means a healthy mind. I swallow the daily dose of immunization pills which we are required to take in preparation for our trip to the Planet Zygone. It's kind of like taking malaria pills before a trip to Africa, but this is an entirely different planet. On Zygone we will mingle with beings from other galaxies and I'd hate to catch some sort of exotic cold from one of them!

A "Venting Session" is announced. Turns out that one unsatisfied member is trying to poison everyone else with her negativity. We all sit in a circle around Moondwabi. He looks very serious. Being in a Cult isn't all fun and games. Sometimes you have to deal with issues. Sandra is pregnant again. Sandra wants to keep the baby this time. She's had so many abortions that the clinic gave her a club card (every tenth abortion free). That's just a joke to relieve the tension. Back to the real issue. Sandra is certain that Moondwabi is the father and expects him to share the burden of child rearing. She even starts ranting some craziness about commitment and marriage - she wants to take Moondwabi away from us! Moondwabi calmly answers that it doesn't matter who the real father is. The fact remains that this baby is not a member of the cult and we do not accept random outsiders. She has two choices: Either raise the baby on her own, outside of our community or have an abortion. I think Sandra's emotions got the better of her because what she said next shocked us all: "I feel you are using me for my body". Moondwabi did not flinch and calmly answered: "And I feel you are using me for my wisdom". Everyone in the room gasped simultaneously at the accusation leveled against Sandra. She ran out crying...all the way to the abortion clinic. Wisdom like Moondwabi's hasn't been heard since the days of King Solomon (who's court jester, by the way, was an earlier incarnation of Moondwabi).

At this point, everyone in the room is in a downer mood. Whenever a member behaves negatively, he saps the positive energy of everyone around him. Like any disease, negative thoughts have a way of infecting whoever comes in contact with them. These thoughts enter our minds and infect us with doubt, skepticism, and generally hinder happiness. Next thing you know, all the pillars our society is built upon come crumbling down. Moondwabi knows that what we need now is the rejuvenating power of love. "Love Therapy" is in session.
*We all get naked and move closer to each other. The power of positive touch shall lift us out of this darkness. First, Moondwabi takes 3 girls away from the group, to his private chamber. This is actually very considerate of him, as now our group has even numbers.
*I choose as my therapy partner a beautiful blond girl named Shiny Summers. She's an ex-porn star and she has a lot of love to give. Apparently in one of her films, she shared herself with 5 total strangers at once. That's powerful.
*I approach Shiny and tell her what I want to do with her - I describe my fantasies and desires in graphic detail. Such blatantly sexual requests might seem shameless and rude to an outsider. No doubt such an outsider would assume I take this liberty only because Shiny is an ex-pornstar and is used to being "talked dirty to". The truth is, even if she wasn't a porno star, I would be just as straightforward.
*A key element in Love Therapy is freedom from inhibition. Another key element is total honesty in our communication with each other. If we are to function as a perfect unity, there can be no barriers between us, and that includes not concealing our true intentions. It may be considered normal in mainstream society to flirt, play games and talk nonsense for hours on end (without even knowing for sure if the other party is interested). For us, anything less than direct is considered lying.
*There are a few unattractive people in our group (okay, just one) yet whoever Big Bubala (as we call her) approaches for sex, that person must say yes. This idea of guaranteed acceptance is the single most important aspect of Love Therapy. As soon as judgement, personal taste or any form of hesitation enters the equation, then the entire philosophy crumbles. We are not having sexual encounters because of mutual attraction - but rather because of mutual respect and love for each other. Sex is not merely a bonding of the flesh. It is also a bonding of souls. And none of us have ugly souls. The soul of a Moondwabian is beautiful and if the body is the path to the soul, so be it and let's not get too hung up on unattractive facial features like hairy moles or lazy eyes or a drooping lower lip that has a string of drool hanging off it or a bit of unsightly chin hair (my apologies to Big Bubala, but I'm trying to make a point here) get in the way of seeing the person for who they truly are.
*Shiny Summers gently places my hands on her breasts. Very therapeutic. I am reminded of a quote from the Book of Moondwabi: "Lick thy scrotum of life that thou shall whither not. For life is short and the erection is long" Foreword, page 1, verse 4

It's dark outside again. We're going clubbing tonight! We don't actually enter the night clubs of course, we stand outside them and missionize on street. The line-up is where the action is (for us at least). A guy takes a pamphlet from me. Turns out he needed a piece of paper to write a girl's phone number on. I'm not discouraged. Picking up converts is a lot like picking up chicks - it's all a numbers game until you're finally having sex with one of them. Right now there are billions of non-believers on Earth and every minute more are being born. We will never catch up anyway. Suddenly I see an old classmate of mine from my high school days. We talk. He's now a successful businessman. As he brags about his wealth I feel more and more sorry for him. I offer to take all his possessions away and thus free him from the bonds of materialism but he is not interested.
***Moondwabi wishes to note: We are not a missionary cult. We do not missionize to strangers. We inform. Only through spreading information about our beliefs can we reach out to those who seek us. We simply want people to read our literature. To swell our ranks with hordes of new believers is not our mission. Even after someone reads our literature and wishes to join us, there is no guarantee that he will be accepted. The candidate must pass various tests and trials in order to prove his soul's true connection to Moondwabi. So, handing out literature to random people on the street is only a means toward finding those few worthy souls who are destined to be one of us (and kindly rejecting the rest).

which is And even that does not guarantee that someone will become a member of our Cult.

Time for bed. We climb into our cyro-preservation pods which help keep us from aging. Moondwabi comes by to say "goodnight" and seals us in. Being cyrogenically frozen at night can feel a bit chilly which is why I wrap myself in a good warm blanket. Anyway, it's better than aging! What if the Prophet Marvin doesn't come for another 60 years! We'd hate to go to Planet Zygone as immortal old geezers! Granted, once we arrive on Planet Zygone they can make us as young and healthy as we want to be. Their medical technology is far more advanced than ours. But apparently there's a waiting list 5 months long just for a consultation. Yawn...sleeping inside a comfortable cyro-preservation pod.

Time to sleep. My entire day feels like it was a dream. Just one big blur. Events that happened less than two hours ago I remember only in a dizzy haze, a sort of foggy mist. This is why I record every fleeting moment in my diary. Living in a higher state of being as I do, one is bound to have trouble keeping track of mundane details like what's going on around them or what they did today. My mind is on a different plain of reality than that of regular people. Not that there's anything wrong with being a regular person. There's nothing wrong with being a dog or a cow either. The pod is getting colder now. I'm losing consciousness. Diary slipping from my hand. Till next I wake up, sincerely yours, Ryan.

Making Peace with the world around you

The world we live in is a tough place. I could fill volumes with the atrocities that have been perpetrated by mankind since this morning alone (as I write these words it is only 5 pm, meaning there's still time for more atrocities before the day ends).

There are many ways to cope with the challenges that life offers. By "challenges" I mean "hardships". People who use the word "challenge" are implying that once you overcome all the hurdles, you finally win. Rubbish. Is the bottomless pit of hell full of challenges?! The only true winner is one who overcomes death. If you don't beat death, then all perceived victories during your life are little more than little battles won, because in the end you lose the war.

Fighting life's little battles are a futile expense of energy. It is best to shun the world's (and your own) troubles and hide inside a cult (like ours) and blissfully ignore "reality" (ie. everyone else's problems, including your own).

Don't let society call you a coward or a weakling for "dropping out of life". Those who criticize you are jealous that they themselves didn't have the courage break away from society and they want you to come back (misery loves company). Let them have their great causes, their personal struggles. Let them comfort themselves with claims that adversity helps to develop character and add wisdom. As far as I am concerned, to develop character and grow wiser is small consolation for a life that has lacked even a moment of pleasure. I prefer to be a characterless dummy enjoying paradise than a wise man in hell.

MOONDWABI WINS THE WAR: There is no greater victory over life's challenges than ignoring them completely. Oh, how those challenges hate to feel ignored - just listen to all the psychiatrists and educators rant and rave on behalf of challenges. They want you to "develop character" and "learn wisdom" by living in their difficult and miserable world and overcoming challenges until you die. They want you to "accomplish something productive" by contributing to their stupid society. When you turn your back on them and follow Moondwabi to enjoy a life of constant pleasure, they accuse you of escapism. They are correct. You've escaped! They are still trapped!

So, how do you cope with life on Earth? You don't! Certainly if you have no choice other than to live on Earth all your life until you die, then you need to cope. But we of Moondwabi have an option! Moondwabi offers us this mantra, three words that contain all the wisdom you need to cope with life: "I'm outta here!"

And in a few years, when the Prophet Marvin comes to take us to the Planet Zygone, then we really will be "outta here".

Is this escapism? Well, not exactly. I wouldn't call our belief an "ism". This is pure and simple escape. Moondwabi wants to help you to escape to freedom.

self contained world

OUR CULT IS OUR WORLD. We have everything we need and everything we want. We lack nothing.

The entire planet surrounding our Temple is our biosphere.

The rest of Earth - entire continents, all life forms, mankind, the oceans and the sky - these are perceived as something outside and separate from our world. Merely a place from which we draw our physical resources, like soil to a farmer.

OUR CULT IS OUR CIVILIZATION. Our society, economy and culture are all built around the teachings of Moondwabi and are perfect. We have no desire to live as the majority of humanity does.

The pursuit of man on Earth is a vain pursuit. Man invests his blood, sweat and tears - his life and very soul - yet he may never find peace. He's always on the move from the day he is born till the day he dies - yet he never gets any closer to arriving at that elusive destination....

Power, happiness and wealth, these are the objectives that mankind pursues via the most extreme routes, often with dire consequences. Does one have to become a millionaire to be wealthy? Must you become CEO of a major corporation or the president of a nation to feel power? Must you become a famous celebrity to feel loved? Must you exploit or even kill millions of people in order to establish your idea of utopia?

OUR CULT IS OUR HAPPINESS. For a member of the Cult of Moondwabi all the desires of his/her life are fulfilled. Effortlessly.

Material needs (food, shelter, clothes, luxuries): When a new member joins our cult, he gives everything he owns to the common good. Everyone shares the wealth. Based on a system of trust each person takes whatever they need. No jealousy. No haves and have-nots.

Emotional needs (love, sex, family, moral support): We are one large family. Moondwabi is your father and you are my children. To each other you are brothers and sisters. We hold daily Love Therapy sessions (discussed in detail elsewhere on this site) and Venting Sessions (also discussed elsewhere). Our belief is that you should never go to sleep with unresolved emotional issues. Each day must be declared perfect before beginning the next, because an emotionally disturbed past cripples the future.

Social structure: Our cult has no intention to grow past 1000 select members, thus we will always remain a small and intimate society in which everyone knows everyone's name. Each member of our society is handpicked and already committed to a philosophy of love and trust. Gone is the fear of the random strangers in an unregulated society. Everyone here is a good person and a friend and lover.

Intellect and education: (study of our texts, discussion with previous incarnations): Developing the mind is so important to us that we spend every free moment studying the Holy Writings of Moondwabi with almost no time to think about anything else. Even our conversations are not idle chatter - through Recollection Meditation we converse with our previous incarnations. Communication with the self is the ultimate form of communication. Does anyone ever truly know themselves? We do! The main goal of all our learning is simple: To be happy. Not to learn how to earn money (which is the cause of so much misery).
*NOTE: Any sign of discontent among our Voyagers is usually a result of old Earthly knowledge (everything we learned before joining the cult) conflicting with new Moondwabi knowledge. Such conflict is easily remedied with increased studies and a few intense sessions of Positivity Realignment.

Spiritual Growth: The human mind is wired for spirituality. Connecting to something bigger than yourself and also meditation both ignite certain existing parts of the brain. People need a God of some sort and many spend their lives searching. Some just give up the search and settle for worshipping an unseen deity that is assumed to be listening. Imagine, in the cult of Moondwabi, having the very object of your worship right in front of you! Moondwabi is at your service to be worshipped, praised, meditated upon and loved whenever you want!

Higher Purpose: Similar to spiritual growth. We need to go beyond the confines of our immediate physical nature and become one with the cosmos. In more mundane terms, we want to be part of something greater than ourselves. That's what the cult of Moondwabi is all about! Here's just a partial list of the amazing things you'll get, absolutely free, if you join our cult today: Move to the Planet Zygone, a planet which adapts to you and not the other way around. Live forever, no worries about death, no need to rush through life, you've got all eternity. Grow and develop mentally with teachers gathered from Moondwabi cults throughout the universe. Evolve physically, become superhuman, grow wings, change sex, whatever you desire - all of this is possible when you're aided by the supreme beings that designed all life forms. Meet God and the Prophet Marvin. How's that sound for higher purpose?

The Apocalypse

The following vision appeared in the rising steam of Moondwabi's urine as it was poured over the altar of hot coals by the High Priest Synodicus, during the autumn solstice. Nostradamus's house cleaner (an incarnation of Moondwabi and a very reliable source) notified us of an amendment in prophecy #1254A regarding the date when the world would end:

The great striped eagle shall fly westward* between the Statues of Victory of the city of No Hope. At that time the foundation stone of all that is unfounded will turn to slime**. White dust and yellow snow will mix with the slime and Dongarts shall arise. The Dongart shall be 12 meters in height and 24 meters in width, it will shoot lightning from its phallus and boom thunder. It shall mercilessly devour all things that live from sea to sky and its name shall be Rudolph***. The preaching of the promised preacher of Zygone shall echo within labyrinthine cavern walls, calling the faithful to wander in darkness, and they shall see nothing in that darkness and feel only the stone and hear only the echos yet they shall get closer to the source with every step - forward, backward, up, down, left, right - all paths lead to the source if only after the echo of the preaching preacher the followers follow. Those that crawl**** on the sand dunes will mock the sun and scorn the moon, yet from the wings of ducks (from this point onward, the prophecy becomes vague and unclear. Nostradamus' house cleaner started speaking in other languages not of this world, or of any other world for that matter. Thus the last crucial details about the when/where/how of the End is still sealed and known only to those who know.)

*For centruries tradition held that the eagle would fly eastward, but new insights into the revelation indicate otherwise
**Previously "goo".
***Earlier versions of this prophecy named the Dongart "Agatha" but we know now that it was only a nickname.
****Previously "hop".

APOCALYPSE UPDATE #1

After I read the above prophecy at Thursday's Apocalypse preparation class, some practical joker shouted aloud "That's next Wednesday". There has been a lot of unrest and even some panic among cult members in the past couple of days. I want to assure everyone, the end of the world will not be next week. I checked and he's wrong. The irresponsible doomsday crier (who's name I will not mention) is being properly disciplined.

APOCALYPSE UPDATE #2

Astronomers have recently spotted a large meteor heading toward Earth. It is true that the size and speed of the meteor could destroy the Earth on impact. It is also true that this meteor is due to enter our atmosphere next Wednesday.

This in no way validates the doomsday prediction that was recklessly announced by one of our members last Thursday! It is pure coincidence. And it is still WRONG!

The local astronomy society is observing the meteor and assures me that there is no cause for alarm. The meteor will break up into tiny particles during entry into our atmosphere and is mostly harmless.

APOCALYPSE UPDATE #3

According to Moondwabi tradition, all believers are to await the coming of the Prophet Marvin from atop the roof of the Moondwabi Temple.

An astute observer pointed out that our Temple has a domed roof. Of course, at a time like the destruction of Earth, safety is a serious concern. We don't want anyone to slide off the domed roof and need to be teleported to Planet Zygone in a stretcher. To avoid such accidents, the apocalypse will be moved to our parking lot. It will take place on schedule.

The Prophet Marvin has been informed of the change. In fact, he told me that he already knew this - he prophesized it before time began. So, to all who temporarily doubted, don't lose faith. Prophet Marvin's prophecy affirms that our apocalyptic events are following a predestined path.

******

It is futile to try and calculate the date of the end. It leads only to panic and anarchy - and then disappointment when that day comes and passes without event. To know the date of the end is beyond human understanding. The only thing we know for certain is that the apocalypse will occur at exactly midnight.

Because the Temple of Moondwabi is located in Toronto, "midnight" will be according to local Eastern Standard Time. For believers in other time zones who cannot attend personally, set your watches to Toronto time. When midnight strikes, be outside, on your roof, ready for the coming of the Prophet Marvin. As we know, Australia is the first country to celebrate New Year's Eve each year. Accordingly, Marvin picks up those believers first.

At that time all of you (my believers) shall gather on the roof of the Moondwabi Temple and raise your arms toward the stars. You shall call the name of the Prophet Marvin three times, that he may come and rescue you. At exactly midnight you shall strip completely naked and be teleported up to the Planet Zygone.

The rest of humanity will remain to suffer the fate that they have made for themselves. Nuclear war, germ warfare, clone wars, natural disasters...one riding upon the other, wave after wave until peace reigns (that is, death).

Despite popular belief, the Earth will not be totally destroyed but shall continue to exist in its damaged state. The non-believers will mostly die and turn into dust but a few will survive. The survivors will start a new civilization on Earth. As an act of mercy, a new Moondwabi will arise among them and the cycle will start again. Perhaps after another 7000 years Marvin will come back for them as well.

NOTE: If the last day of Earth happens on a night when we change our clocks (ie. daylight savings) we go by the new midnight. Be aware of this, lest you strip naked on your roof, raise your hands into the sky - and become the laughing stock of the neighborhood.

APOCALYPSE FAQ

Q:Exactly when is the world going to end?
A:The end of the world isn't a date you can point to on a calendar. Certain conditions must be met and that depends on us. It could happen any time...as soon as God and the Prophet Marvin deem us ready.

Q:Why are predictions about the end of the world always written in riddles?
A:It is a riddle only to those who don't understand.

Q:Why can't you write (them) apocalyptic prophecies in plain English, so that we can understand them and do what needs to be done?
A:The end of Earth will follow a natural course, played out in accordance with human free will and human destiny. The apocalypse must not be forced, faked or contrived. This is why we do not want anyone other than divine beings to understand the prophecies.

Q:So, if we cannot decipher them, why make these prophecies at all?
A:To remind you that every day you should psychologically prepare yourself for the end. The prophecies help keep you on your toes.

Introduction to Moondwabi: The Recollection Seminar

Our introductory program welcomes approximately 30 new potential members twice a year. We will be holding the Winter 2007 Recollection Seminar in a scenic underground cave located 2 hours from the nearest sign of human civilization. The exact dates and location are to be announced. The occasion will be overseen by his holiness, the High Priest Synodicus and several dedicated Priestesses. Moondwabi himself will grace us with his presence and perform a live concert on the closing evening.

WHAT IS A RECOLLECTION SEMINAR?

It is a positive space where you can recollect and reconnect.

Recollect who you really are and reconnect to your source.

BECOME ONE WITH YOURSELF

Look in the mirror and you see only one person - or is it only one? There is much more to yourself than just you. Your soul is made of that primordial essence that existed billions of years ago when there was nothing else. You journeyed through the cosmos as pure spirit, then you came to Earth. Here on Earth - the material dimension - your soul was reborn in a physical manifestation that is you.

Everyone wants to know themselves more deeply. At a Recollection seminar you discover the infinite depths within yourself. Through our special meditation techniques you will meet and communicate with previous incarnations of yourself - from amoeba to ape to countless generations of humans. While your conscious memory doesn't recollect your past lives, these previous lives affect who you are. Become one with all of them. Acquire the collected wisdom and memories from billions of years of your own existence. Become a complete being. Become one with yourself.

CONNECT TO YOUR SOURCE

Go deeper, go beyond yourself. Recognize God and the Prophet Marvin as your soul source. Everything that exists - including you - emanates from God, blessed be She.

Learn that all destiny and "divine providence" is the jurisdiction of the Prophet Marvin. Learn what the Prophet Marvin has planned for you.

Recollect your previous life in which you first followed Moondwabi. Get reacquainted with Him. Your closeness and love for Moondwabi feels so natural for a reason. It goes back centuries. Understand why you were chosen then and why you merit to follow him again today.

FEEL THE LOVE

The High Priest Synodicus and Moondwabi himself will do everything to ensure a warm, comfortable and loving seminar experience. Aided by a team of enthusiastic Priestesses, they have an overflowing abundance of love to share. Whether you be old or young, male or female, you need only receive and it shall be given.

See why followers of Moondwabi are always smiling. Love is not a word to us. It is something we put into action at all times. Many say that it is the truth of the Moondwabi way that brings them here, but it is the intimate and emotional love they experience which keeps them here.

INTENSE LIFE-CHANGING WEEKEND

The itinerary will be extremely intense, as each participant has over 7000 years of wisdom to catch up on during a single weekend. The Recollection classes and meditation sessions run 24 hours a day and attendance at each session is obligatory. We have much work to accomplish over three days. Meals will be minimal and sleep denied in order that there be no interference to the momentum of your spiritual progress. Our ultimate goal is to break you down into an empty vessel, a pure and open mind, capable of receiving everything the seminar has to offer. To do this we must liberate you from the negative forces, doubts and obstructions of your conscious mind.

JOIN US

To qualify to participate in our program, first you must read the Book of Moondwabi (which you can order from our website). The next step is to download and fill the application forms. Send a signed copy to our headquarters with the $20 processing fee. It is recommended that you apply at least 4 months in advance, as space is very limited. After we review your application, you may be either chosen for our seminar or put on the waiting list for the next one (in 6 months) or rejected outright (Don't despair, you can try again in a year. We offer ongoing correspondence courses to prepare you for a successful reapplication).

An exclusive society

Another absurd accusation hurled at me by outsiders is that my followers lose all interest in the outside world, cutting themselves off from family, friends, career, education, former beliefs.

If you could see the dedication my followers demonstrate when fundraising for my cult, or when worshipping at my feet, you will understand that they are more passionate than ever about life. They have not lost interest in the "outside world" (the world of my accusers). They have gained interest in the "inside world" (the world of Moondwabi), which is the only true world.

An inside world we are indeed. We of Moondwabi practice meditation, introspection and love (of ourselves and each other). All of life's needs are taken of communally. The individual grows spiritually until his soul is almost too big to be contained in his mortal body. At that point he is a full fledged Voyager ready for his trip to Planet Zygone (may the Prophet Marvin take us there soon).

The outside world (mainstream society), is obsessed only with what is external or outside of the individual. By "external" I am refering to appearances, impressions, only that which is visible. "Outside" refers to materialistic pursuits, popular causes, politics, fads and fashions.

Basically anything considered greater than the self, anything that diminishes the person as being his own complete world is a great cause of suffering for the individual.

Various symptoms of being in the outside world:
*A person's believes that he is part of something, rather than being a whole complete entity.
*His true essence gets stifled by all the demands, laws, morals and expectations put on him by society.
*His very perception of reality must adapt to everyone else's reality or he is considered insane.
*He no longer lives for strictly his own needs, but the needs of others, or worse - the needs of false ideas.
*He is miserable.

If you do not fit in with the outside world, you are ironically called an "outsider". Two negatives make a positive. You are really an insider, more in tune with the Moondwabi way than anyone else.

In the cult of Moondwabi, he discovers that he needs only himself because his soul is from a higher place than anything on Earth. His worship of Moondwabi is purely a selfish act of the worshipper, as it fills him with my aura and he receives blessing upon blessing every moment that he is bowed before me. I envy him for his ability to grow.

In summary, the Earth is a composite of many worlds. We must necessarily give up one in order to live in the other. Just as evolution made us leave the world of apes behind. Apes and humans may occupy the same physical plain, but are worlds apart. To resist evolution and to cling to the plain into which we were born could result in devolution. Before we know it, we'll be living back among the amoebas from whence we came.

To our detractors on the outside, I leave you this final message: When you are ready to look inside, we will accept you with love.

A closed society

Recently we have been harassed by a well-meaning but misguided group of activists that call themselves M.A.M. (Mothers Against Moondwabi). It is always sad to see mothers go astray. Speaking as a son of a mother, I can say this with some authority.

The accusation they level against me can be summed up in a few words: That I have stolen their children (implying that their children are someone's property).

Speaking on behalf of all my members, they are not brainwashed in the slightest. They all think for themselves and they all are treated as individuals. They asked me to say this.

I would never want to exert any control over another human being as that defeats the purpose of my mission. I want followers who are enlightened beings and truth seekers. I want followers who develop their potential to the fullest. The mind control tactics that I am unfairly accused of are not only a lie, they are the very thing Moondwabi stands against.

I accuse the accusers. Did you offer your son or daughter something better in their life before Moondwabi? Do you offer them something better now? Has your daughter ever loved you the way she loves me?

To everyone, I say this: My door is open. It swings both ways (it really does, so be careful entering if someone is exiting). My point is that everyone is free to come or go as they please. What M.A.M. needs to understand is that not everyone wishes to exit the same way they came in. Your children are not the same people they were when they first came to experience a Moondwabi concert or lecture or meditation. They have advanced.

As a gesture of peace I would like to invite all concerned parents and government officials to attend our annual love festival. When you experience all the pleasures that one human can offer to another, you'll change your mind about the cult of Moondwabi and perhaps will be content knowing that your child is this happy all year long.

The Meaning of Life

There is no meaning of life. Sorry to disappoint. But think about it - what could possibly be meaningful in the grand sense?

Let's say you meditate, live righteously, do whatever your spiritual calling requires of you. This makes you feel closer to the creator. Then after you die and go up to meet God herself and the Prophet Marvin. At last, all the mysteries of the universe are about to be answered - or are they?

Not at all. That's because there is no mystery. And there is no meaning. Not for God, not for the Prophet Marvin and therefore not for us.

What do you think God does up there? What's her meaning in life? Does she have anyone to worship or emulate or get close to? No! She hangs out and has a good time. And She really doesn't get what all us Earthlings are making so big a fuss about.

"But God created us", you say. "She has an innate desire to be all giving and all loving."

Grow up foolish humans! So what if God created the universe and everything in it? Okay, I admit that's impressive - but for Her, it was effortless. Boring even. Every single day she spits out a galaxy or two. Why does She do it? Everybody's gotta do something. She's an eternal being and does lots of things without giving it much thought. The problem with us egocentric Earthlings is that we believe we are so important to Her. We actually imagine that She oversees everything that happens here and that she cares. The average person who believes in God thinks She has great love for each one of us. When something bad happens, it is just a test or it is a punishment. Ready for the truth? Read on.

The universe runs on its own, according to the way it was designed. Other than that, God isn't even involved.

The Prophet Marvin does his daily rounds, checking up on each planet periodically, trying to keep things running smoothly. If a planet gets too out of control, He appoints a Moondwabi to guide it in His absence. Eventually, he'll choose a favoured remnant of that civilization and bring them to the Planet Zygone.

But do not despair, my dear reader!

There is a meaning in life, just not what you expected!

God in her wisdom created each of us with our own unique talents, personalities and interests. She also created many wonders for us to enjoy. She wired our bodies and brains for sensing pleasure. She made us eager to learn and explore.

As long as each of us can taste, feel, have sex, have fun and occupy our minds, then each of us has our own individual meaning right at his fingertips. In other words, find your own meaning, my friend. Do what makes you happy and stop thinking that there is something more to life. Such thinking defeats happiness.

A special message for the poor, the ill, the handicapped and the imprisoned: Enjoy life best you can. Sincerest apologies for how your life turned out, but God isn't perfect. There will one day be a solution to your problems, either through medicine and technology if it is physical, or through a change in government and societal structure if it is existential. It's already possible, even today. Blame your fellow humans for the delay.

In the meantime, you are all welcome to contact me and submit your request for a trip to Planet Zygone. When the Prophet Marvin returns in a few years, we'll take care of you. Life will get better. And that is meaningful.

The Media

We of Moondwabi are free and that includes freedom from the media.

Media is the greatest brainwashing tool of all, aimed at entire populations, entire nations. The power of mainstream media is so immeasurable that it can make the most atrocious lie become the norm. You, dear reader, are brainwashed and don't even know it (but I do).

Mainstream media is exactly that - mainstream. Step outside the mainstream and you become not only a member of the minority - you are considered "alternative", "revolutionary", "anti-social", or ironically "brainwashed".

Wherein lies the media's great power? In its power to entertain!

When over 2 million people go online to watch a "piano playing" cat and then CNN reports this in its headlines...well, doesn't that make you wonder if people aren't ignoring more important issues?

I'm aware of the need for light entertainment. We live in a pretty dark world. So, what harm in laughter? Why shouldn't we focus on the latest Hollywood scandals, sport scores, MTV, and all other mindless forms of diversion? The harm is when entertainment becomes our news and news becomes just another form of entertainment.

But there are "serious" things on the news too. War, crime, deaths, tragedies...sadly, much of this is also entertainment, designed to satisfy your morbid curiosity - or to make you passionate for a cause (the cause of the media corporations).

A word about truth: Every story has two sides, that is the old expression. This is not true. Every story has five sides. Here they are.
1 and 2: The sides of the two parties involved
3: The side of the mega-media conglomerate that reports the story (if you follow mainstream media, all your news is coming from media corporations). Often the news is twisted and spun to satisfy the agendas of a powerful government or the billionaire who own the media outlets.
4: Your side. How do you interpret the news? How to you filter it? How many versions do you know of the same story? How does your own life experience color your views of current events?
5: The hidden truth. The side that no one sees. (except me)

Mainstream society has often accused the cult of Moondwabi of brainwashing its members by cutting them off from all forms of media. That is a perfect example of a one-sided "truth".

We have our own media. The cult of Moondwabi has a website (you're reading it!). The cult of Moondwabi has its own pod cast, newsletter, concerts, and educational DVDs. That's media! We report anything that is relevant to our lives as Moondwabians. And everything not relevant to Moondwabi is treated as the useless information that it is.

Am I really enforcing a "media blackout" for my followers? Not at all and it would be futile to try. I cannot possibly protect my members 100% from the invasive influences of TV, radio, newspapers, Internet and even word on the street.

Instead, I merely instill in my members the wisdom that the outside world is full of false ideas, losing causes, mindless teachings, and twisted morals. As Moondwabians, we are no longer a part of this world Earth, and in fact we plan to leave it. Within our cult we have created our own ideal society made up of the people who matter most to us - each other.

The scrambled messages that come from all corners of the Earth, all competing to be heard at once, each message claiming to be of utmost importance, claiming to be vital for survival or (as is more often the case) vital for keeping up to date on the flavor of the week...

We have our clarity and peace. To us, the billboards and announcements that bombard the brains of the masses are but air pollution and litter on the landscape.

Promises, promises

Why do religions promise heaven if you are good and hell if you are bad? Is anyone on Earth so good as to merit the kind of heaven that is described in religious doctrine? Is anyone on Earth so evil as to merit the eternal damnation of hell? Okay, I can think of a few people who deserve hell. But alas, both these places are so fantastical. They promise rewards and punishments that are beyond all proportion.

Moondwabi makes no promises of fantastic hells or heavens in the afterlife. He promises that you will join him on Planet Zygone during this life (which is the final incarnation of all your previous lives). Your future rewards (or punishment) will be an accurate reflection of your merits and demerits in this life. Nothing less, nothing more. A perfect analogy is to see it as building your future house on Planet Zygone. Every good deed you do here on Earth is another brick added to your house. A bad deed is a brick removed. When you arrive to Zygone you may find yourself living in a palace...or a tent. Or something in between. It's all what you build now. An average person will live in an average house - all is fair and fitting on Zygone. Every day that you live here on Earth, your heart, thoughts and deeds are constructing an eternal future that will perfectly reflect your present.

Many cults and conventional religions believe that suffering in this world is rewarded in the next. Don't fall for it, dear reader. That is a lie created by the elite. They want you to accept your lot while they step all over you. You may argue, "But suffering makes me a better person, it builds character". I agree that improving your character is of utmost importance. Suffering may indeed teach some positive lessons. But the only true test of character is when you are not suffering. It is when you are wealthy and successful that your humility and kindness is truly tested - and best put into practice. In the meantime, dear reader, strive to make your world a better place and do not accept suffering as the natural order of things.

Most absurd is that many religions and cults want you to suffer deliberately! They convince you to sacrifice the pleasures of this world in order to receive them in the next. Some go even further and demand that you commit actual bodily or psychological harm to yourself. Their religions contain twisted logic: they tell you to abstain from sex in this world while promising you an orgy in the next. Does the next world not follow the religion of this one? Suffering here means suffering there!*
*(This demonstration of logic is purely theoretical of course, only to make a point. After all, there is no next world other than Zygone.)

Moondwabi teaches that our goal is to get maximum pleasure at every moment. Comfort, love, enjoyment at all times. Why should your daily life on Earth not reflect the life you shall later lead on Zygone? If life is miserable on Earth as a result of my teachings, then why should you trust that things will improve when you are actually on an entire planet full of Moondwabis?

I make no fantastic promises. What you see is what you get. Join the communal life of Moondwabi and decide for yourself if you wish to stay - because you'll be staying for eternity. If you are unsatisfied with us, we don't damn you to hell, in fact we harbour no hard feelings at all. Just leave and take your negativity with you. You are free to rely on the many other forms of salvation that the world offers. Good luck.

Immortality

On planet Zygone, they will keep us young and extend our lives forever. They can modify our DNA to stop the aging process and cure disease, they can use stem cells to regenerate organs and limbs...in short, they invented us and they can fix us.

In fact, they will be improving us: we will evolve into creatures more beautiful and majestic than anything we ever imagined. Prepare to fly, prepare to communicate by mere thought, prepare for the very limits of what is possible. We humans will be only slightly less than the Gods themselves.

While the secret to creating life still mystifies us here on Earth, on Zygone it is like preparing a cup of coffee.

The great irony for us on Earth is that we could reach that same level of knowledge within a few decades! But we never will. We spend all our money, time, brains and effort creating weapons of war and designing consumer products that no one needs.

On Earth, every advancement toward genetic mastery is overshadowed by the darkness of the human heart. We know that for every scientist who cures a disease, there will be evil men who create and manufacture new diseases with which to kill. We know that for every human clone created to serve us, there will be those who build violent clone armies, expendable soldiers with which to wreak havoc and destruction.

Humanity will forever live in a state of uncertainty, always in the balance between good and evil (mostly evil). That is why followers of Moondwabi will be coming to create a new human society on the planet Zygone. To those who are chosen to come: my dear followers, you will be chosen not for your wealth or even for your talents. You will be chosen only for the goodness in your souls and your dedication to Moondwabi. Zygone is built solely on LOVE and nothing else.

Eternity is a long time. You can spend it rotting in a grave and then turning to dust. Or you can spend it with me - basking in my radiance on the planet Zygone. Dancing, singing, praising and worshipping...trust me, you'll love it!

God and UFOs

Earth was visited several times throughout history by the Prophet Marvin and by advanced beings from the other worlds. In the Sinai Desert, the ancient Hebrews even witnessed a finite projection of the all encompassing and invisible God, blessed be She.

Advanced aliens made numerous contacts with primitive Earthlings. An obvious question arises:
Why didn't they teach these primitive Earthlings about electricity? Technology? Biology and medicine?

Well, first, let us look at what they did teach us:

They taught us Morality. Well, the visitors from outer space tried to teach morality. It didn't take long for mankind to twist the teachings to suit their own agendas, mainly to advance their own greed and power. Moral teaching found itself broken into three permutations:
Truth Intact: These are basic principles of morality that managed to survive intact, despite the filtering process of human corruption, feeble understanding and differing interpretations. These teachings permeate all religions and cultures around the world to this very day.
Empty Ritualism: An attempt to remember, recreate and worship the alien encounter resulted in many rituals that have nothing to do with reality whatsoever. Human religion is full of them.
*Even meditation can sometimes become a meaningless ritual: Proper meditation delves into the primal messages encoded within our DNA. The feelings and visions one receives can bestow great inner peace and wisdom. Improper use of meditation is an escape from reality, a comforting avoidance of life's issues, and achieving a high for the sake of a high.
Evil: Mankind can twist morality. We are not logical beings. Emotion gets in the way. Ulterior motives and personal opinions easily disguise themselves as morality. Basically, any "moral" teachings that cause another human needless pain and suffering is evil and an invention of man. God and the Prophet Marvin created us to discover pleasure, peace, wisdom and love.
*Religious leaders often impose their own personal ideas of what they like/dislike onto their followers and call it morality. They will claim that these fascist and intolerant laws are passed down from God's authority or by God's instruction. Sadly, these twisted moral crusaders are often the ones who were trusted by the alien visitors to spread the message. In some cases these trusted leaders of humanity were even invited to the planet Zygone and then returned to Earth with special powers. I won't name names, but take a look at virtually any religious leaders in history and even today.

They taught us knowledge of the universe: Some humans were given a glimpse of the cosmos. In their primitive mind frames, they could not but mystify what they were seeing. Upon return to Earth they quickly spread stories of a paradise or heaven that is promised to all who believe in it. Many alien visitors promised to return to Earth at a future date. They were suddenly perceived as Messiahs who will come back and save us from ourselves.

Pyramids. Cave paintings. Legends. Mythologies. Advanced astronomical knowledge. This is the legacy left behind by the Prophet Marvin, God and many interplanetary beings.
*Many ancient civilizations such as the Mayans, Druids and Dogons had amazingly accurate astronomical knowledge. How do we explain ancient civilizations famous for astronomical calculations and maps of the cosmos that were clearly beyond their capabilities? Indeed, this knowledge was not their own, but given to them by visitors from outer space.

So, let us repeat the question that was raised earlier: Why didn't alien visitors teach primitive Earthlings about technology, biology and other forms of modern knowledge?

Because they weren't ready.

Morality cannot be taught from a book. It is something that evolves over centuries through great societal upheavals and through gradual enlightenment.

Scientific thinking is revolutionary thinking. It demands an honest search for truth and an objective mind. It demands an experiential context for understanding it all.

Today we are closer than ever to the ideals of our creators. And at the same time, we still prove unworthy.

For the past 200 years progressive incarnations of Moondwabi have been working behind the scenes to bring us an explosion of knowledge and revolutions unprecedented in all human history. A person from the year 1807 wasn't much further advanced than his ancestors of 807. Yet compare him to us in the year 2007. It's a different world. Moondwabi thought that the human race was finally ready for the teachings that were meant for us over 7000 years ago. So he opened the flood gates to all the reasonable secular thought and scientific knowledge we need to create paradise on Earth.

*(imagine how wasted the world would be by now after thousands of years of our modern pollution and wars and overpopulation)

Tragedy. Look what we do with this knowledge. Our planet is on the brink of self-destruction. All our advancements in secularism and technology turned against itself. After a century of genocides, wars and terror on such an incredible scale, is it any wonder that our UFO visitors held off from teaching us then what we know now?

Thus Moondwabi, in his mercy, is rushing a few good souls off to the Planet Zygone where we will be truly home with those who created us. Those who follow Moondwabi shall be directly "plugged into" their soul source and bask forever in the pure light of creation with God, the Prophet Marvin, the different Moondwabis of all the many worlds. You shall share a place with other highly advanced beings like yourselves, who have chosen the Moondwabi way.

As for those that remain on Earth (the other 99.9% of humanity): if you don't destroy yourselves then maybe we'll come back in 1000 years to teach you again. If you do destroy yourselves, then we'll come back in 1000 years to teach any survivors. There's no rush. We of Zygone have all eternity to wait for you to get things right.

Moondwabi Tour Schedule for summer 2007

The Holy Moondwabi is available for public appearances at your establishment. Please contact his high priest Synodicus for details at synodicus@moondwabi.com

SEMINAR SCHEDULE - SUMMER 2007
Moondwabi invites the public to attend. All events are free.

July 16 - Slide show of life on Earth
Where: Hall B, The Old Cyborg Factory, Aquapolis (the underwater city of Planet Zygone)
8:00 pm - oxygen tanks will be provided

July 17 - Lecture: Power structures in a meritocracy
Where: Room 230, University of Interplanetary Studies, Pambak-Zangezur (the underground city of Planet Zygone)
8:00 pm - light snacks will be served

July 20 - Mastering Bilocation, or the ability to be in two places at once: a weekend workshop
Where: Hadron Stadium, Sevan-Amasia (famous mountain village and spa of Planet Zygone) AND Main Sanctuary, Moondwabi Temple, Toronto, Canada
7:30 pm (ending 5:00 pm July 22nd)
Sign up fast - only 2 spaces left for one lucky person

July 23 - July 28, Interplanetary Moondwabi Week
Day 1: Meet and Greet at the arrival of Moondwabis from each planet in the universe
Day 2: Prophet Marvin holds the annual Moondwabi banquet. Awards will be given for outstanding Moondwabi achievements in each sector of the universe.
Day 3 and 4: Unity Conference. Private event. Moondwabi leadership only. Theme of our discussion will be, "Moondwabis on different worlds: One message? One nation?"
Day 5: Annual Moondwabi Convention. Open to the public. Worshippers can meet the various Moondwabis appointed to each planet in our universe. Autograph session at 4:00pm. Concert following: Vizhbizh, the Moondwabi of the Sirius star system will close the evening with a traditional Dogon rendition of the cosmic chord.
*All events take place on the Planet Zygone and are intended for worshippers who have graduated from their planets of origin and now reside on Zygone. Those mortals who still live on their home planets will receive complimentary souvenir T-shirts from the convention, to be handed out by their Moondwabi leader upon his return.

July 31st - Lecture: Beyond Zygone
Moondwabi talks about how his Earthling followers can continue to grow spiritually and rise to new heights even after their arrival on Zygone.
Where: Room 43251326, Skybound Hotel, Cloud City (the cloud city of Planet Zygone)
7:30 pm - bring umbrella in case of rain
*Lecture will be repeated at the Moondwabi Temple in Toronto, Canada (Earth) the following month. See August schedule - coming soon.

Member Gallery

I used to think Moondwabi was half man, half God. After spending a year in the group, I am convinced he is 100% God.
- Lily


Before I found Moondwabi, "Happiness" was just a word in the dictionary. I was saying it all my life, but never truly feeling it. Moondwabi taught me the true meaning of Happiness. He's like the dictionary I wish I always had.
- Marla



I was days away from graduating university with honors - then I met Moondwabi. Thank you Moondwabi for saving me from making a terrible mistake.
- Laura


Moondwabi is the highest of the high.
- Stacey


Moondwabi makes the Dalai Lama look shallow, man.
- Victor



At first I thought he was kind of effeminate. He wore clothes that would make Elton John cringe. Then I realized it's just his ultra-sensitivity.
- Cindy


I first came here to rescue my friend from what I thought was a dangerous brainwashing cult. I haven't left since. Thank you Moondwabi for showing me the light.
- Stephanie


I used to live in a four story mansion with a pool - then one day I realized: Why do I need all this stuff? I live alone and I can't swim! Ever since Moondwabi moved in he has shown me the futility of material pursuits. All my mansion can't hold even half of the luggage and property that Moondwabi brought in. Thanks for the lesson!


I used to worry that life was meaningless. Moondwabi told me that it is meaningless and to stop worrying. He taught me to embrace the meaninglessness of life and to be free.