Edited by Moondwabi
I wake up in the morning. Or maybe it's the afternoon. It's dark outside, must be evening. Never mind. Here in the Temple of Moondwabi, we are living outside the rules of conventional time. We have no other appointments, nowhere else we need to be. What use is a calendar or a watch to us? If something needs to be done, the High Priest Synodicus rings the chimes and we all assemble in the main sanctuary for the lecture, public revelation, meditation, love therapy, whatever it may be that Moondwabi wants to give us - it's all a gift.
Today is the girl's day on "shower duty". All the male cult members line up nude in the "Hall of Hygiene", me among them. The girls (also nude) walk circles around us. Each girl scrubs me as she passes by in the procession (and she passes again and again until no spot is unwashed). It's wonderful having so many young female hands lathering me with soap and scrubbing my hair and then rubbing me dry with a towel. I don't worry if I get an erection or ejaculate during Hygiene hour. No need to be embarassed. We are all friends here.
I receive my breakfast pills. I don't know what vitamins they contain, but every color of the rainbow is here, so I'm probably okay. I down the pills with a cup of orange juice (not the fruit, the color). The girls come to breakfast a little late. They were busy waking and washing Moondwabi until now. I notice I forgot to take one pill - it helps slow down my metabolism so that I gain weight. Moondwabi wouldn't want us to look underfed. I swallow it down and go back to my bed to relax. It's been quite a day already!
*Note from Moondwabi: Cult members are allowed to eat real food. Ryan is a relatively new member and is still going through the detoxification process.
I lie back in bed reading the Book of Moondwabi for what must be the hundredth time. It's amazing how the book just keeps getting better with every read. Moondwabi in his infinite wisdom regularly updates and adds chapters to the book, so I never seem to truly ever finish it. Last week Moondwabi even added some illustrations to the book, actual paintings that he made while on the Planet Zygone. It's amazing how much this place on Planet Zygone looks like a place I know in Northern Ontario. This just confirms that I will never be homesick on Zygone.
I doze off with the book in my hand, still open at page 1. Wow, this is an intense book. I'll need all my energy to keep up with it. The chimes are ringing. That is the sound that woke me. Delicate chimes gently ring through the overhead speaker system of the entire Temple complex. The High Priest Synodicus is calling all of us faithful to assemble in the main sanctuary for some sort of wonderous event guaranteed to lift our souls higher and higher.
Today Moondwabi will be revealing to us the secrets of his previous incarnations. The hot coals are being prepared on the altar by the High Priest Synodicus. Moondwabi faces the altar and drinks from a flask that contains what looks like water. No one other than Moondwabi knows what liquid it is. He warns us not to dare drink or even touch it. He says it is a concoction from the Planet Zygone and it will burn a hole right through us like acid until we evaporate into a thin mist. Moondwabi of course can handle anything.
*Okay, so back to the ceremony. All of us focus our eyes on the red glow of the coals until we slip into a sort of trance. We rock back and forth in a state of ecstasy, rocking to the rythym of the silent cosmic chord. This is the note that permeates all existence and creates harmony, music and spirituality for the entire universe. Tapping into this note is like tapping into the source from which all Earhtly music draws its inspiration. You have got to hear it to konw what I mean.
*Moondwabi opens the front of his robe and lets the urine flow. His holy urine splashes all over the coals. Some of us lucky followers in the front row get to feel a few drops hitting our cheeks. The yellowish steam rises up with a hiss. Suddenly Synodicus starts speaking tongues. He sees a vision in the steam of the urine. The essences of all 998 previous incarnations float around within the steam (the soul of all 998 incarnations is currently inside our Moondwabi - these 998 previous incarnations that the Priest sees are really their memory, their trace, their imprints that they left on the fabric of the universe). No one else in the room can see anything special in the steam of the urine except Synodicus. I guess that's why he's High Priest and I'm just a regular shmoe.
*Synodicus starts to speak fluent Cantonese. He is channeling a message from Confucious' college roommate. Confucious, for those who don't know, is China's most famous ancient sage. Chow-Yun Phat was his dorm mate when they studied their profound wisdom which we can still see perserved in fortune cookies till this very day. Synodicus (now possessed by Chow-Yun Phat) holds a conversation with Moondwabi in fluent Cantonese, for what seems like hours, right in front of us. Amazing. Finally Moondwabi turns to tell us what we need to know from this conversation.
*Chow-Yun Phat was telling Moondwabi how important it is for us to worship him (Moondwabi) with all our might and to serve him without question. To tell the truth, I've heard that message quite a few times before and from quite a few different sources, including the incarnation of Moses' hair stylist just a week ago. But it's always nice to have the message restated in a new and novel fashion. Chow-Yun Phat did put things in a way that sounded fresh and even somewhat humorous. In the end he bestowed some very precious advice to us, something I once read in a fortune cookie when I was very young: "Never test the depth of the water with both feet".
For lunch I eat a balanced meal of celery sticks, tofu squares and jello powder. A healthy body means a healthy mind. I swallow the daily dose of immunization pills which we are required to take in preparation for our trip to the Planet Zygone. It's kind of like taking malaria pills before a trip to Africa, but this is an entirely different planet. On Zygone we will mingle with beings from other galaxies and I'd hate to catch some sort of exotic cold from one of them!
A "Venting Session" is announced. Turns out that one unsatisfied member is trying to poison everyone else with her negativity. We all sit in a circle around Moondwabi. He looks very serious. Being in a Cult isn't all fun and games. Sometimes you have to deal with issues. Sandra is pregnant again. Sandra wants to keep the baby this time. She's had so many abortions that the clinic gave her a club card (every tenth abortion free). That's just a joke to relieve the tension. Back to the real issue. Sandra is certain that Moondwabi is the father and expects him to share the burden of child rearing. She even starts ranting some craziness about commitment and marriage - she wants to take Moondwabi away from us! Moondwabi calmly answers that it doesn't matter who the real father is. The fact remains that this baby is not a member of the cult and we do not accept random outsiders. She has two choices: Either raise the baby on her own, outside of our community or have an abortion. I think Sandra's emotions got the better of her because what she said next shocked us all: "I feel you are using me for my body". Moondwabi did not flinch and calmly answered: "And I feel you are using me for my wisdom". Everyone in the room gasped simultaneously at the accusation leveled against Sandra. She ran out crying...all the way to the abortion clinic. Wisdom like Moondwabi's hasn't been heard since the days of King Solomon (who's court jester, by the way, was an earlier incarnation of Moondwabi).
At this point, everyone in the room is in a downer mood. Whenever a member behaves negatively, he saps the positive energy of everyone around him. Like any disease, negative thoughts have a way of infecting whoever comes in contact with them. These thoughts enter our minds and infect us with doubt, skepticism, and generally hinder happiness. Next thing you know, all the pillars our society is built upon come crumbling down. Moondwabi knows that what we need now is the rejuvenating power of love. "Love Therapy" is in session.
*We all get naked and move closer to each other. The power of positive touch shall lift us out of this darkness. First, Moondwabi takes 3 girls away from the group, to his private chamber. This is actually very considerate of him, as now our group has even numbers.
*I choose as my therapy partner a beautiful blond girl named Shiny Summers. She's an ex-porn star and she has a lot of love to give. Apparently in one of her films, she shared herself with 5 total strangers at once. That's powerful.
*I approach Shiny and tell her what I want to do with her - I describe my fantasies and desires in graphic detail. Such blatantly sexual requests might seem shameless and rude to an outsider. No doubt such an outsider would assume I take this liberty only because Shiny is an ex-pornstar and is used to being "talked dirty to". The truth is, even if she wasn't a porno star, I would be just as straightforward.
*A key element in Love Therapy is freedom from inhibition. Another key element is total honesty in our communication with each other. If we are to function as a perfect unity, there can be no barriers between us, and that includes not concealing our true intentions. It may be considered normal in mainstream society to flirt, play games and talk nonsense for hours on end (without even knowing for sure if the other party is interested). For us, anything less than direct is considered lying.
*There are a few unattractive people in our group (okay, just one) yet whoever Big Bubala (as we call her) approaches for sex, that person must say yes. This idea of guaranteed acceptance is the single most important aspect of Love Therapy. As soon as judgement, personal taste or any form of hesitation enters the equation, then the entire philosophy crumbles. We are not having sexual encounters because of mutual attraction - but rather because of mutual respect and love for each other. Sex is not merely a bonding of the flesh. It is also a bonding of souls. And none of us have ugly souls. The soul of a Moondwabian is beautiful and if the body is the path to the soul, so be it and let's not get too hung up on unattractive facial features like hairy moles or lazy eyes or a drooping lower lip that has a string of drool hanging off it or a bit of unsightly chin hair (my apologies to Big Bubala, but I'm trying to make a point here) get in the way of seeing the person for who they truly are.
*Shiny Summers gently places my hands on her breasts. Very therapeutic. I am reminded of a quote from the Book of Moondwabi: "Lick thy scrotum of life that thou shall whither not. For life is short and the erection is long" Foreword, page 1, verse 4
It's dark outside again. We're going clubbing tonight! We don't actually enter the night clubs of course, we stand outside them and missionize on street. The line-up is where the action is (for us at least). A guy takes a pamphlet from me. Turns out he needed a piece of paper to write a girl's phone number on. I'm not discouraged. Picking up converts is a lot like picking up chicks - it's all a numbers game until you're finally having sex with one of them. Right now there are billions of non-believers on Earth and every minute more are being born. We will never catch up anyway. Suddenly I see an old classmate of mine from my high school days. We talk. He's now a successful businessman. As he brags about his wealth I feel more and more sorry for him. I offer to take all his possessions away and thus free him from the bonds of materialism but he is not interested.
***Moondwabi wishes to note: We are not a missionary cult. We do not missionize to strangers. We inform. Only through spreading information about our beliefs can we reach out to those who seek us. We simply want people to read our literature. To swell our ranks with hordes of new believers is not our mission. Even after someone reads our literature and wishes to join us, there is no guarantee that he will be accepted. The candidate must pass various tests and trials in order to prove his soul's true connection to Moondwabi. So, handing out literature to random people on the street is only a means toward finding those few worthy souls who are destined to be one of us (and kindly rejecting the rest).
which is And even that does not guarantee that someone will become a member of our Cult.
Time for bed. We climb into our cyro-preservation pods which help keep us from aging. Moondwabi comes by to say "goodnight" and seals us in. Being cyrogenically frozen at night can feel a bit chilly which is why I wrap myself in a good warm blanket. Anyway, it's better than aging! What if the Prophet Marvin doesn't come for another 60 years! We'd hate to go to Planet Zygone as immortal old geezers! Granted, once we arrive on Planet Zygone they can make us as young and healthy as we want to be. Their medical technology is far more advanced than ours. But apparently there's a waiting list 5 months long just for a consultation.
Yawn...sleeping inside a comfortable cyro-preservation pod.Time to sleep. My entire day feels like it was a dream. Just one big blur. Events that happened less than two hours ago I remember only in a dizzy haze, a sort of foggy mist. This is why I record every fleeting moment in my diary. Living in a higher state of being as I do, one is bound to have trouble keeping track of mundane details like what's going on around them or what they did today. My mind is on a different plain of reality than that of regular people. Not that there's anything wrong with being a regular person. There's nothing wrong with being a dog or a cow either. The pod is getting colder now. I'm losing consciousness. Diary slipping from my hand. Till next I wake up, sincerely yours, Ryan.
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